(Jumping in your jumper in the morning while still in your PJ's can really tire a boy out !!!! I notice the other morning that he was really quiet, so I looked over and he was out cold!)
It's been a while since I really wrote anything meaningful in my postings. Things have been busy with work and with Colby slowly progressing, I sometimes feel as if I'm repeating the same things over and over. But I thought I'd take a minute to share some thoughts.
I continue to feel so lucky and thankful for Colby's progress. My feelings will ebb and flow. At times I'll see another baby that's younger than he is and progressing so much more quickly. But I can't change the fact that he was born premature and had come complications. So I quickly divert my attention to what he IS doing and what he HAS accomplished. He's such a joy in my life. I was talking with another dad and we were talking about how it may be a bit different with men and women. Women are instantly bonded with their children. But with men, it seems that the bond strengthens over time. When Colby first came home, he just ate and slept. Sure, I enjoyed spending time with him, but boy has the experience changed now that he's interactive and really seems to recognize me. He's started to repeat certain things we do. It's not 100% of the time, but you can see that he draws the correlation. If we do that thing with our finger on our lips, he'll do the same. If we shake our head like we're saying "no", sometimes he'll repeat it. Same with 'ma ma ma" and "da da da". He'll also talk in what we can his "Pirate Voice". It's a raspy, lower pitched voice. It's just so neat to see your child making those connections.
Our last year and 1/2 has been an absolute roller coaster. In looking at pictures of Tracey and I just a year or so ago, we looked so much younger. Sure, we're getting older, but I really feel that this past year and 1/2 has taken a lot out of us. I'm not complaining. It's just the way life goes sometimes.
And looking back at how small Colby was, I had no reference to compare him to. I knew he was small.....but now looking back...ow my god!!!! He wasn't small, he was down right tiny! And look at him now. He's got big giggly cheeks, meat on his legs and arms and enough strength to give us a hard time if he doesn't want to put a shirt on or something like that.
Yes, he has a shunt in his head. Yes, he's behind. Yes, there are still unanswered questions about his future. But given where he's come from, he's come so long and I'm teary-eyed to write that my son is doing so well!!!
Our little boy is just that now....... not so much a preemie, but a little growing boy. I thank those of you who follow his story. I thank you for your interest in his well being and for your support. I hope one day Colby can look back, read his story from way before he can remember and feel proud of himself for accomplishing so much and for touching so many people's lives.